


New born

by ArtanisNaanie



Series: Muse [5]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Betaed, But He Gets There, Emotionally Constipated Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Eskel is a good friend, Geralt is slow on the uptake, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Has Feelings, Good Friend Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, I dared dye Geralt hair, Jaskier writes Muse songs, M/M, We're going towards the happy ending, but we're not there yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:47:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24910294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtanisNaanie/pseuds/ArtanisNaanie
Summary: "I think birdie broke up with me last night," he grumbles."I didn't know you were together," his asshole of a friend responds. He grunts again. They weren't, except they were, a bit.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, other relationships mentioned
Series: Muse [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1752481
Comments: 56
Kudos: 189
Collections: Interesting Character and/or Interesting Relationship Development, The Modern Witcher AU Collection





	New born

**Author's Note:**

> Hello dear readers! Have a Geralt POV this time! 
> 
> This work is part of a series and doesn't make a lot of sense if you have not read Undisclosed Desires, Bliss, Supermassive Blackhole and Time is running out.
> 
> Thank you for your kudos, comments, bookmarks and subscription, they mean the world to me and keep me going!
> 
> Update 01/10/2021: Thanks to Rita this chapter is now beta-ed, and it makes a huge difference!! Check her work [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyRita1967/pseuds/LovelyRita1967), she writes amazing fics!!

Geralt scowls at the text. "No, Geralt, I don't want to," he reads, and that's strange. Jaskier didn't often say no and surely not because he didn't _want_ to. The kid always wanted to. That's one of the things that make it fun and easy. Then the rest of the text registers in Geralt's mind and wait… what? Has the kid met someone? Has he done something wrong? He doesn't think he's done something wrong, has he? Geralt is tempted to text, to call, to demand an explanation at least, but he doesn't. He doesn't think he has the right. The kid never asked for anything until now, so he's not going to question it. When Geralt goes to bed an hour later, he feels unsettled and doesn't like it. 

\---

"You're scowling more than usual, dude, and ain't that a feat. Who pissed in your cereal this morning?"

It's early still and Geralt is tired because he hasn't slept. The lights of dawn are peaking on the horizon but he can't find it in himself to admire them, not today. Today should be a cloudy, dark day to fit with his mood. He grunts in reply to Eskel, who's unloading the trunk. His friend raises an eyebrow in an expression Geralt knows to mean "I won't put up with your shit any longer, idiot," and Geralt sighs.

"I think birdie broke up with me last night," he grumbles. 

"I didn't know you were together," his asshole of a friend responds. 

He grunts again. They weren't, except they were, a bit. He likes the kid. He's funny and smart and talks way too much and he's one hell of a lay. He wouldn't have seen him for a year if he didn't like the kid. Sure, it's not like they were together with things like dates and dinners and meet the parents, but they saw each other often enough, and spent some nights together with their friends and didn't even fuck, and Geralt likes the text rambles he finds sometimes on his phone in the mornings. So, yeah, they weren't together, but they were, a bit. 

"What did he say?"

"I asked him if he wanted to come over and he said no and that he didn't want to see me that way again," he answers, because he knows Eskel will not let go of this and is not above stealing his phone to check. Better tell him now. 

"Whoa, that's harsh. What did you do?" Eskel demands, because of course it would be Geralt's fault, why not. 

"I didn't do anything. Haven't seen the guy in a month."

"...and the last time you talked?"

"I just told you I haven't seen the guy in a month, Eskel."

Geralt doesn't like the face his friend is pulling. He feels like he's being judged for something but he doesn't know what. Thank god there's only Eskel this morning, Lambert would never let him live this down.

"Maybe he's met someone," he says, mostly to escape the glare of his friend. 

"Maybe. Was too good for you anyway."

"Hmm."

\---

Geralt knows he's not really a catch. He's mostly good for a good time between the sheets, but nobody stays after that. Jaskier stayed, though. But then, just like everybody else, he left too. 

\---

He's sipping his beer, watching Eskel and Lambert trash talk to each other while playing pool. He's not in the mood to play, tonight. He's not in the mood for anything and, if Eskel had not barreled into his flat and dragged him here by the scruff, he probably would have been at home with a six-pack for company and a marathon of BSG, again. It's been a week since Jaskier's last message and Geralt thinks he should let it go, and he wants to let it go, but it's like a constant chirp in his brain that no amount of alcohol or workout can silence. He doesn't talk about it. 

"Well, aren't you a joy to be around tonight, Wolf," Lambert smirks. "You're even funnier than usual."

"Fuck you, Lambert," he grumbles. 

"Let him be, he's moping," interjects Eskel, and Lambert laughs, the asshole.

"Why, does one of his kilts have a hole?"

Geralt glares at Eskel, trying to be as intimidating as possible, but his friend, his best friend, his _traitor_ has never been intimidated by him one day in their almost thirty years of friendship and, apparently, he's not starting tonight.

"Jaskier told him he wouldn't spread his legs for him anymore," Eskel replies with a grin, and Geralt growls. That's not… ok, maybe it is, but he doesn't like to hear it phrased like that. 

"Ah, pretty bird decided to break free!" 

Geralt doesn't like that Lambert calls Jaskier a bird either. It's _his_ nickname, given when the kid was actually a kid, colorful and chirpy and Geralt didn't even know his real name. He scowls at his friend but it looks like nobody's taking him seriously tonight. He should have stayed at home, Starbuck and Helo would have been better company. 

"What did you do?" 

Again. Why do they all think he did something?

"I didn't do anything," he shrugs, because he's been asking himself the same damn question all week and honestly can't come up with a different answer. "Maybe he's met someone."

"Good for him if he has. So," Lambert leans on the table to prepare his shot, "who are you going to call? Essi? Pity Triss is taken, don't you think?"

"I'm not… fuck you, Lambert," he seethes, and when he leaves he takes good care to stumble a bit in Lambert's legs and ruin his shot. He doesn't pay attention to the voices that call him from behind, he just wants to go home. 

\---

He dyes his hair black. Between that and cutting it he feels like it's less drastic but dramatic enough. 

\---

It's been a month and he still hasn't run into Jaskier. It's not like he's _looking_ , but they met often enough in the same three, four places, that not meeting him for so long is weird. On the other hand, if he's met someone it stands to reason that he hangs out elsewhere. He meets Yennefer and Triss instead, and he's happy to even if the purple-eyed glares are as deadly as ever. 

"Hey girls, long time no see! How are you?" he asks, because he can talk and even be friendly, whatever Eskel says. 

Triss seems a bit drunk and leans heavily on Yen, who tries to look annoyed but can't quite manage it. He knows very well what "annoyed" looks like on Yen, so he can tell the difference.

"We're gooood! We just went to a concert, it was aweeeesome!" Triss slurs a bit, and Geralt laughs while Yen rolls her eyes. 

"We just saw Jaskier play, honey, it's not like we went to see Matthew Bellamy," and there it is, the little pain Geralt feels when he thinks about the bird, the little pain that makes no sense. He can't stop himself anyway.

"Oh, how's your third wheel?" he asks, and the storm in Yen's eyes kicks up a notch and, oh, ok, maybe he phrased it wrong.

"Jaskier's better, thank fuck. See you, Geralt," Yen replies, cold as ice, before turning and pulling Triss with her. Triss laughs, probably blessedly unaware of the tension between them, and adds behind her shoulder "He should thank you, you're going to make him famous! Byyye!"

Geralt has no idea of any of that means.

\---

Later that night a beautiful girl is plastered all over him at a club and his dick doesn't even twitch; Geralt thinks he has a problem. 

\---

He's at the bar ordering beers for Eskel and Lambert and a whisky for himself when a big hand pats his shoulder.

"Hey, Wolf! Good to see you! I almost missed you with your new hair! How are you?"

"Hey, Duny, I'm good-" _liar_ "-how are you?"

Duny is a friend from school and rugby, and despite having drifted apart in the last years, it's always good to see him. 

"I'm good! I'm happy to run into you, I need you to meet someone, come!"

The smile on his friend's face is contagious and Geralt finds himself mirroring it a bit. Duny pulls him towards a table where a girl with long, very fair hair and big green eyes is waiting. He knows her, he thinks. 

"Hey babe, this is Geralt, we played together a few years back. Geralt, this is Pavetta, my fiancée."

Pavetta, right. Same year as Yen, Triss, and Jaskier. Geralt smiles and extends his hand, which she takes, beaming.

"Oh, I think we've met!" she smirks, and he feels a little uncomfortable, but he has nothing to regret with her, at least. He nods and sits and lets Duny talk about nothing and everything, punctuating the conversation with a well-timed hum. After a bit, Duny says, “Hey, by the way, I’m glad we’ve met tonight, we wanted to invite you to the wedding but I didn’t have your address for the invite!” 

“Oh yeah, we’ve invited Yen, too.” Pavetta winks and Geralt feels uncomfortable. 

“Hum. I’ve seen Yen last week, with Triss,” he adds, and he doesn’t even know why.

“Sure you did,” Pavetta smirks, and Duny laughs and Geralt scowls. He doesn’t think adding anything could make it better, so he shuts up except to give his address to Duny. When he leaves the table to join his friends with warm beers he thinks that, at worse, he’ll see Jaskier in six months. 

\---

One night he reads all his texts with Jaskier and realizes it’s a chat between a birdie and a jerk.

\---

There’s a cloud of smoke in his living room and in his head. Eskel is half lying on his couch, his bloodshot eyes vaguely following what’s happening in the video game they're playing. Geralt decides to blame what happens next on the mix of alcohol and pot.

“I miss him,” he whispers, half hoping his friend will not hear. 

“Yeah, I know,” Eskel answers, because even if he can’t open his eyes more than halfway he hears everything, the asshole. 

“Do you think I was an asshole to him?”

“Yeah.”

“Fuck you.”

“I’m not in the business of lying to you, dude. The kid deserved better than a fuck every three weeks.”

“Yeah, I’m starting to see that.”

“Well, what are you going to do about it?”

Geralt scoffs. “Nothing. He doesn’t want me, he doesn’t want me.”

Eskel manages to roll his eyes, even if it takes moving all his head and probably the beginning of a headache. “You’re really a moron, Geralt.”

Geralt is inclined to agree. 

\---

He finally gets to the end of his hamper and finds a pair of yellow boxers with blue flowers. He washes them, folds them, and puts them in his dresser. 

\---

Geralt is not the best at technology. He uses his phone as a phone and to read his emails and refuses the very concept of social media. He doesn’t understand, therefore, why Eskel is sending him a link to a thing on Instagram, of all things. The text caption says “open it, moron”, so he does. 

\---

Geralt's never been to one of Jaskier's concerts, and he thinks that maybe he's been missing out.

\--- 

The thing opens and it's a video and it's Jaskier. He looks good, but again, he always looks good. He's at home in his music room, Triss' plants all over the background, and he's starting to sing a song with a compelling bass opening. Geralt watches Jaskier sing and he's too focused on how the hair moves when he moves and how his blue - so fucking blue - eyes sparkle and how his throat is on display framed by a shirt that is entirely too open on his chest to listen to the lyrics, but he quite likes the song, so he listens to it again. It takes four or five repeats to understand what Jaskier is saying and, when he does, there's something in his throat that won't go down no matter how many times he swallows.

He makes an Instagram account.

\---

When he arrives at the pub he's surprised to find Essi with Eskel and Lambert. She doesn't hang out with them anymore, and he knows it's his fault, a little, because he doesn't like her as much as she likes him. He doesn't like her as much as he likes Jaskier. But she seems good, now, and she laughs at something Lambert says and she winks at him when he comes near. 

"Hey, Geralt, long time! How are you?"

"Fine."

"I like your hair, you know?" He doesn't. He doesn't understand why he did it, and at the same time, he feels like he can't bleach it again so soon. It's too soon, but he doesn't know why. So he says, "Thanks," and sits, while the conversation resumes. He doesn't say much, but he never does. There are very few people he likes to talk to and one is at the table and the other doesn't want to see him again and sings songs about someone being the death of him and Geralt has the nagging suspicion it's him. 

"...and I went out with the girls the other night for Pav's bachelorette party... Well, the girls and Jaskier, of course," and so Geralt tunes in the conversation, "and we went to this club and honestly, one shouldn't go to a club with Pankratz because it's like the lights only shine upon him, right until he left with some guy…" 

Wait, what. If Jaskier left with some random guy it means Jaskier isn't seeing anyone. If Jaskier isn't seeing anyone why is he not seeing Geralt? Geralt feels a headache coming.

\----

There's another song on Jaskier's profile, it's called New Born. Geralt latches on to the point where Jaskier goes up in a falsetto that should sound ridiculous and it's actually not. 

_Just break the silence_

_'Cause I'm drifting away_

_Away from you_

\---

Geralt is not dumb. He may not be the smartest man alive, but he's not dumb. He has enough self-awareness, though, to recognize his emotional intelligence is somewhat stunted. The therapist he had a few years ago made a lot of excuses for it but they didn't make it better, in the end. Because Geralt still has some issues with _deeper connections_ and _letting people in_ and a whole lot of crap like that. So, he knows he sometimes misses things. 

Apparently, he recently missed the tiny, tiny thing that he has not fucked another person besides Jaskier since they started the whatever there was between them. Apparently, he has also missed the fact that Jaskier seemed to want more from him, but that was easy to miss because Geralt doesn't really think people _want more_ from him. And Jaskier didn't outright ask. But Geralt is aware of his reputation (he did build it up, after all) and that might be why the kid didn't ask. Maybe. 

Geralt is half-way a bottle of wine and his thoughts are getting muddled and increasingly stupid, perhaps, but there's something that's tugging at his mind that looks like the _need_ to do _something_. What, he doesn't know.

\---

He calls Yennefer. It's a bad idea, but for the moment it's the only one he has. Weirdly enough, she answers.

"What."

"I need to talk to you, can we meet?"

They do. Yen is beautiful as she always is, dark and dangerous and sometimes he regrets that they're two fires that can't burn together. But she has Triss, who's earth and good for her. And he has… he has nothing yet, but maybe he can work on it. 

"Cut to the chase, Geralt, small talk was never your strong suit," she says as soon as he tries to enquire about her job. He nods, because she's right.

"I need to talk to Jaskier," he exposes, and she laughs, bitter and mean. Protective.

"No, you don't. Buttercup is finally getting out of his misery and living his life again instead of trailing behind you like a lost puppy and I will _not_ let you ruin him again." Her words are harsh but they soothe something in Geralt, because they talk of a truth he wasn't sure about. He feels guilty, though.

"I didn't know, Yen," he replies, because he didn't, he still doesn't know a lot of things because he's a moron, and an asshole and Jaskier can do better than him but he's also fucking selfish and now that he does know he's not letting this go without at least a bit of a fight. The first fight is with the gorgeous woman in front of him who's always been a sister to Jaskier.

"Of course you didn't know, you idiot. He didn't want you to know. He still has a bit of pride, god bless."

"I miss him," he reveals, and it's more painful than to say it to Eskel when he was not sober, but he pushes it out all the same. She lifts an eyebrow, disbelieving. 

"It's been two months, Geralt, I would have thought you'd move on."

"Didn't even try," he answers honestly, shrugging. He didn't. He doesn't want anybody else and it's weird and _good_ in a strange way that he can't explain. He's ok with that, with this... yearning. He never thought he would be one to _yearn_ for someone like that. 

Her face passes from disbelief to surprise. "You really didn't." 

He shrugs again. 

"Ok, so let me get this straight..." 

He huffs a laugh and she almost smiles.

"You weren't just seeing Jask to get your rocks off-" 

He interjects with a small, "I like him." 

And she barrels on, "And now that he stopped the thing, you realized that maybe you both wanted more than that and it took you two fucking months?"

"I might be a bit slow on the uptake," he smirks a bit, because he knows she likes to have some weakness offered to poke at and, as he thought she might, she nods. 

"That's an understatement if I ever heard one. Why weren't you at our door the minute after you realized?"

"Thought he found someone else. Thought he found someone better," he mutters in his drink.

"You are an idiot."

"That's been said. Repeatedly."

"What are you going to do?" 

And, well, he didn't expect her to be supportive, not at all, and he's glad, very glad for it. "I don't know. Do you think there's something I can do?"

"Oh, Geralt. I think I'll kill you if you don't do _something_."

**Author's Note:**

> So, time for some polls:
> 
> 1) should the next chapter contain angry sex or sweet love? Answer in the comments below!
> 
> 2) should I put all this series in a single multi-chaptered work? It started as a one-shot, that's why it's a series, but it's very not a one-shot anymore, so... Thoughts?
> 
> Check out my other Witcher fics:
> 
> \- [A piper at the gates of dawn](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23411083/chapters/56107210); canon universe, ep 6 fix-it, rated E, <9k. Geralt finds Jaskier one year and a half after the mountain.  
> \- the [Muse 'verse](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1752481): Modern setting, from hook-up to lovers, rated E, Geralt wears kilts, angst with a happy ending. <20k  
> \- [Calligraphy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25365418): 5k ficwip challenge, College/University, rated E, inspired by art, fluff, 5k  
> \- [In the kitchen of a keep in the mountains](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25910944/chapters/62970847): canon universe, found family, food as a love language, internal monologues, character study, rated T, 12k  
> \- [ There was only one bed and it was uncomfortable](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26283094): 5+1 Crack, rated E, 4k  
> \- [Wish you were here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26579083); canon universe, porn without plot, rated E, 5k. Geralt walks in on Jaskier.. again.  
> \- [Of food, friendship and apologies](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27954674); canon universe, ep 6 fix-it, rated G, 2k, not or pre slash. Food is a love language.  
> \- [As we lie here in our bed](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28527864): canon universe, porn without plot, somnophilia prompt for the Sugar and Spice Witcher Bingo, rated E, 1k  
> \- [Black in front of my eyes, bark against my back](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28616832): canon universe, porn without plot, outdoor, clothed sex, rated E, <1k  
> \- [Things that bump in the night](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28617060): pre canon universe, porn without plot, Eskel/Geralt, Kaer Morhen, rated E, <1k  
> \- [I quite like seeing you all tied up](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28617300): canon universe, porn without plot, Geraskier, soft bondage, rated E, <1k  
>   
> And you can come yell at me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/ArtanisNaanie) too!


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